Difficult questions
by BCshipper
Summary: It's the answer that makes your life difficult. Third.
1. Only ones

Hello. I'm still alive, just incredibly busy. This one started as a drabble but I had an idea to continue it. I'm going to add more some time. But it won't be soon. I'm also going to finish Missing. If you want to know when look at the last sentence. I'm very grateful for all the reviews. Please keep sending them. They encourage me to write more.Once again thanks.

Disclaimer: No profits. I don't own them.

The first question is: What happens after?

It wasn't so bad after all. I didn't feel any pain. It was just a moment when I closed my eyes and I was there. I even began to pray. I think that maybe it helped a bit.

I saw my mom. I felt this motherly warmth radiating from her. And understanding. And then I realized how much I missed that caring, gentle person she used to be. Always loving me no matter what I did. She brushed my cheek and wiped that helpless tear that somehow was rolling down slowly. I couldn't control it any more. "Maritza." She said patiently. And then I knew. That's what mothers are for.

She confirmed then that she has been waiting here for me. All this time. And I think that's what I wanted. My mom to welcome me to this place.

I looked back and Letty was standing there. The one I saw so often in my dreams. And my father with whom I haven't talked since he left us. I wasn't sure at first. But they were both looking at me with tenderness. I felt the closeness we once shared. Before regrets appeared.

No sorrows, shame or guilt. No pain. None of these things that has mounted up during last years. Just peace.

* * *


	2. Only Bosco

Second Question : Why I chose him?

I didn't want to hurt him. But in a way I had to do it to be here now. With my mom, with Lettie. To be happy in the true meaning of this word.

That's why I will always be grateful. He made this move easier for me. I don't think I would have ever done it without him. Maybe it wasn't just a matter of strength but comfort I was going away with. He was the one who used to care about me.

I didn't want to leave him broken, wondering for his whole life why I did it. Why I chose him. And what it meant. Regretting that he didn't stop me, that he didn't help me or that he wasted time being angry. But most that he wasn't honest with me. And with himself too.

Do you wonder whether I feel guilty ? I do. I feel guilty because I asked him for too much that day. I feel guilty about hurting him. About scar I left him. I didn't know it could have so much impact on him. That it would break his heart.

But I know that he gave me so much. That's why I'm trying to protect him the best way I can. They even call me his guardian angel here. And I think that he feels it. That he feels me. Sometimes when he looks through me I wonder whether he really sees me or it's just what I hope for. There is something special in his eyes. Only for me, but I figured it just now. That's why I regret sometimes that I'm happy here. And not there with him.


	3. Only friend

Third one: Have you ever had a friend?

Manny. That's the only person I could call a friend. Or somebody close to being a one.

I wasn't kind of a friendly person. I never cared about such things, what they thought about me or how much they hated me. I was tough. I had my job done. And if somebody tried to cotton up, I knew better. I didn't need a friend. I knew what they really were after. Most of the times I wasn't wrong.

People are weakness. If you get too close you will either get hurt or they will use it against you. I learnt that. I got it even from my family. And I m' not weak.

But Manny, he was a good guy. A good friend. He tried to look after me. I liked all that attention and concern he was giving me but I never told him. I hope he knew that when I shouted at him, mocked him and pushed him to his limits. Yes, I was stubborn. But he was enough patient for both of us.

He was the only person that helped me then. But right now he needs me. His son too. And I will help them as much as I can. Because that's what friends are for.


End file.
